Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Being good at something vs. Being something good

Two days ago I started on a two part fast. After stepping off the scale and seeing a number more suitable for baby seal than a human, I decided something had to change...and soon. Over the past few months, I have been completely sedentary. No working out...eating everything I can get my hands on. (my girl is a chef, so it's not my fault) Falling and being in love feels great on the inside....but its ruining my girlish figure lol! So anyhoo, I decided to take charge of my eating habits and to work out more often. So far, so good.  I ran 23 minutes today and considering that I carry about 70% of my weight below the waist, I was super happy about that.

We are easing into the fast so I don't start the actual "not eating part" until tomorrow. The "not eating" part is being brought to you by the kind folks who engineered THE MASTER CLEANSE. Now this isn't the first time, that I have done the MASTER CLEANSE, (I do it at least twice a year). But this is the first time I am committing to do it for the full 10 days. WHEW! I usually do it as a means of prayer and sacrifice, and this time is no different. Since food is like my favorite thing to do and think about, I sacrifice it for something that I want even more. This time there were so many things that I wanted from this sacrifice but the most important of which rhymes with "cook meal" sml. So that's the first part. The second part of the fast involves alcohol and frivolity! I love that word! I am committing to not drinking or going out for the next 30 days! The reason I chose to do this now is because I want to use this time to really work on myself, my health, my self-image, my book and so on. I don't know if I can do that in a smoky club, stuffing my face and taking shots. This is about being a better, healthier me. I take this journey very seriously because I feel like I am in the position to really impact the lives of other people and I want to be someone who people can trust. Being a good writer or getting a good "cook meal" pales in comparison to helping people move through tough times.

Which brings me to my second point. Trusting people.

Sometimes it so easy to stand on the outside of life and look at people who are doing what you want to do and idolize them. You think "wow, so and so is awesome at this or that." Then you take their awesome talent for "widget making" and personify it into their personality. You decide that they must be an awesome person just because they are an awesome widget maker. What I have found however is that this is not always the case. People are just people no matter how great they are at one thing or another. It would be failing myself if I felt that being good at something...made me something good. For me, that's just not enough. As long as I am on this earth, I will be in pursuit of truth and spiritual purity. God calls us all to be make a difference in this be an ear to a friend, a confidant to a family member, a donor to the homeless guy on the corner. supportive to our partners, and responsible to our "fans," "constituents," and so on. So often, I have gotten to know wonderful "widget makers" and found that they are negative, critical, selfish and so on. It was hurtful to know that my earth idols didn't live the lives they talked, wrote, or spoke about. I pledged that I didn't want to be that type of person. Sure, I allow myself humanity. I'm not perfect and do not claim to be. But I also don't think its fair to write a book about judgement and then gossip about everybody in the world. A lil hypocritical??? Wouldn't you say?

So when I find myself falling out of alignment (i.e gaining 25 pounds), I know that  I need to do something to snap myself back. This fast and this journey is about me keeping myself in fighting trim, not only for myself but for all those who care, depend, love, listen, or read me. This is about more than being good at something...its about being something good. And to me, missing a few meals, or passing on a few drinks is worth my readers being able to trust that I am doing the work...not just talking the talk.

Thanks for reading!

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