Today was a tough one for me. It started out good; I had a great time last night and woke up this afternoon completely charged about going to a really cool spoken word event this evening. I had gotten my business cards in the mail and they looked bitchin!. I planned to pass them out at the event. I felt awesome. …Then, a friend of mine asked me if I wanted to accompany her to an outdoor bbq festival. Sun AND barbeque this must be my lucky day! However, when we got to the festival things went downhill rapidly. I only brought $20 with me for the afternoon. Not trying to penny pinch but just trying to be more financially frugal. Anyhoo, it was $10 just to step foot into the event then a dollar for each sample…and you can imagine how big the samples were. $18 dollars later, I was hot, almost broke and STILL hungry. The frustration started. In my mind, I imagined spending all of my money. Having to borrow money from my friend for more samples. Not being able to pay for my parking. The internal panic was building. I didn’t want my friend to know I didn’t have any money. I was embarrassed and afraid to even think about it. To top it off, my companion for the day decided she wanted to go shopping. Me and my whopping two dollars! UGGGGHH FML!!!! So I smiled and grinned and pretended that I didn’t feel like crap. As the day progressed, I just felt worse and worse. I snapped at my gf and I was just a nasty, ball of evil energy. I felt sick to my stomach as I felt the negative emotions build. It was like I couldn’t stop it. To top it off, as I had spent my daily allotment on the festival and a new cargo skirt, (don’t judge me it was $3!), I didn’t have the money for the cool spoken word event. Soo I settled into the couch, to worry and attract more low vibration energy and people.
As a student of metaphysics, I know the danger of negative thought and emotions, of feeling like you are in lack. Since like energy attracts like energy, as long as I was feeling low, I would continue to attract low people and situations. I’m sure the really cool spoken word event probably had a higher vibration than where I was, which is how I had ultimately separated myself from it. So I started working…started dealing with myself, in s p a c e. I realized how much good I had ignored during the day, so content on wallowing in my ugly place. On 3 separate occasions my friend and I got free samples during the festival, and I didn’t even have to pay to park when I left the garage (it was supposed to be $5). Later that evening I found out that a little long distance angel paid my cell phone bill for me!. I had a refrigerator full of food and my most important bills were paid. I had a lot to be thankful for.
Over the years, I have always told people that I feel like the bad comes quicker for me. Sometimes, it feels like when I think a negative thought it manifests almost immediately but my positive thoughts take days…. months. What could I have possible thought that made me deserve this?? The answer to that question is still unclear. But at the end of the day what I do understand is the power of perspective. How much better could my day have gone if I had focused on the good things instead of the bad? How much different could my life be if I thought that my positive thoughts manifested immediately instead of my negative ones. People are good for telling you things could be worse…but what if…they could be better??? In truth, there will be times when you have bad days and I am not going to pretend to have a failsafe answer to make those days completely turn around. But what I will do is introduce the idea of WHAT IF…(GOOD)? It’s so easy to imagine all the horrible bad things that have happened in your life. Or to remember how it felt when you lost this or that. But WHAT IF…(GOOD)? What if you think about the times when good things happened? The time when I went restaurants alone and spent over $60 on myself (true story). Or spent $115 on my hair? (true story). Or the times when I took over $1300 in cash to the bank (true story). S P A C E/ Modern metaphysics isn’t about giving people a “one hitta quitta”, “carte blanche,” solution to your problems. It’s not for me or anyone to promise you that there is ONE perfect solution to your problems. Truly this philosophy is the problem with traditional religion. S P A C E is about using the wisdom of the universe as a tool. It’s about perspective and potential. The tool for today is simple…WHAT IF….(GOOD)? You can fill in the blank with whatever good thing you can think of…and the next time you are nickel and diming yourself to death in your head…or imagining how terrible this situation could turn out…just take a moment to ponder, WHAT IF….(GOOD)?.
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