Monday, December 31, 2012


It took me 29 years to run my first mile. And only one day to sign up for a half-marathon. I remember it like it was yesterday. It was a cold day in October. I was at Atlantic Station to cheer on some of my BGR sisters who were running in the Atlanta Marathon Relay. We must have had like 20 teams, and I waited to watch the last member of each one cross the finish line. Afterwards, there were hugs, tears, pictures but most importantly there was motivation. At the time, I had never run more than three miles nonstop, but because of that experience, I signed up for a 13.1 mile race. I was scared, but by race day, I was ready.

I started writing space five years ago. Many people may not know this, but I hand wrote most of my book on the floor of my apartment in the summer of 2008. I had long been struggling with depression and addiction, and writing gave me a way to release the emotions inside my head and heart. I wrote the words on loose-leaf paper, put them in a white binder, and then watched that same binder collect dust for over 3.5 years. I submitted it to a few contests, but when I didn't win, I just put it down again. I had no intention of trying to self-publish. Then one day, I changed my mind. Where there had once been confusion and angst, there was suddenly drive and clarity. That was in October. The book will be ready in February.

I was an addict for 16 years of my life. There was always a part of me that wanted to quit, but I just couldn't bring myself to go through with it. I would quit for a few weeks or maybe even a few months. But eventually…when things got stressful, I would relapse. Suddenly, on a random day in November, during a fast, I just stopped. That was over two years ago. Now, I rarely ever think about huffing.   

You don’t need more pressure, you need more inspiration. 

For each of the reasons above and a thousand others, I don’t make New Year’s resolutions anymore. I've learned that while my hopes and dreams live in my mind, the inspiration and motivation that I need to achieve them lives somewhere between trust and ease. It’s spiritual, not verbal.

We all know what we want. Can any of us say that we haven’t lost weight, because we don’t know that we want to? I don’t think so. I think for most us the problem is more so a lack of motivation and inspiration, than desire. And you just can’t force yourself to be inspired. What you can do, however is pay attention when you are inspired. So in those moments when you feel like working out, go. In the mood to start a new project, do it. In the mood to stop a bad habit, stop! Feel like calling a friend, call. Do it in the moment. Too many times we let moments of intense inspiration pass because of reluctance and fear. Don’t be reluctant to do what feels natural. Be reluctant to do what feels forced. There is no need to force yourself into well-being.  Focus on getting in tune with your higher self, and you will naturally be led to the best feeling, highest vibration place. And you know what…this happens all the time. We just don’t listen. That’s you getting in your own way. 

I think God speaks to us through the unsolicited thoughts and emotions we keep having, then the source within us provides the perfect conditions for us to execute them at the perfect time. Oftentimes our lives are hard because spend too much energy forcing agendas instead of paying attention to what is coming to us naturally.

Your job in 2013, is not to put more pressure on yourself by adding more things to your to do list. Your job is to trust that you have made your intentions known to the universe more times than you can count. 
Know that your higher self is listening. Know that you deserve good, and understand that the moment you stop forcing yourself to do what you think you should be doing, and start doing what feels natural; things will come with speed and ease. You don’t have to force yourself to be great, all you have to do is have the faith and courage to act the next time you feel inspiried to do so.

Things get easier FOR you…when you get easier ON you.

Have a blessed and prosperous “everyday” for the next 365 days

S p a c e

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