You can either be quiet and be seen
…Or talk too much and be embarrassed.
Five years ago Eckhart Tolle introduced me to the concepts of space and silence in his book, The Power of Now. It’s no secret that I became so infatuated with the word space that I got it tattooed on my arm. A few years later I wrote a book about it. Now, however my love for the word space is being rivaled by my love for it’s counterpart silence. I love the idea of silence. Moreover, I love the idea of letting my actions speak for me when my words can’t.
Here’s the thing though....people talk too much. They talk too much about the wrong things to the wrong people. Then to make matters worse, they don’t do half as much as they say they will or want to do. Honestly, I don’t have a lot of patience for that. My words means a lot to me but my commitment means even more, especially the silent commitments that I make to myself.
And that’s where the #silenceBEseen brand came from. To me it means, be quiet, be yourself and let people see you.
BE-ingseen also means keeping the promises that you make yourself. It means doing what it takes to get closer to your idea of happiness and joy. BE-ingseen is not about impressing people or being part of the crowd. It means being a leader, even when you are alone. Most importantly, BE-ingseen means wrestling with your own demons, insecurities, and spiritual qualms before drawing other people into your madness. It means taking care of yourself first and empowering others second. Sounds good right? I think so. However, I am learning that BE-ingseen ain’t for everybody. Some people seem to like the idea of talking about BE-ingseen more than they actually like BE-ingseen. That being said, let’s talk a little about what you can do and what you can’t do, when you're ready to be BEseen.
The first thing you are can do is...
Nowadays, there seems to be a movement for everything. There is a natural hair movement, a health and fitness movement, an organic food movement and so on. Not to mention, as we age there is also pressure to get into a long term relationship or do something BIG and important with our lives. Even in the midst of all this though, there is no need to feel pressured into doing something because you think you should or you feel like it’s the right thing to do. You know yourself better than anyone else and as a result, you know what you are ready for. Be honest with yourself about where you are in whichever journey you are on. Then govern yourself accordingly. If you are not ready to BEseen in a relationship, don’t get in one. If you aren't ready to BEseen in your fitness journey, don’t start one. The only person who can make that call is you. If you sincerely want to make a change in your life, there are plenty of people who are willing to help you. But no one can help someone who does not want to help themselves. If you want to lose weight or become healthier, sacrifice will be required. If you want to get into a commitment relationship, some change and compromise will be required. Ask yourself (silently) if you are ready. If the answer is yes…proceed. If it’s no, figure out why. Fix it. And then proceed.
In the meantime you are encouraged to...
Oftentimes doing big things requires some planning and preparation. You can't just jump into everything headfirst. Being silent about what you want do can give you the time you need to prepare before you act. For example, since I started running, I have been amazed by how many people have approached me saying they want to run. Unfortunately, I am equally amazed by how many of them don't show up when I invite them. Over time I have learned not to take this personal. Weight loss and fitness is a very personal journey and I understand that. But at the same time, trying is a universal language. We all know that it means to try. Coming to terms with your personal fitness is tough to do. But it’s harder to do when you aren't willing to put forth the effort. Give yourself the time you need to get where you want to be. (THEN) BE willing to do what it takes to get there…(OR) BE silent until you are.
Which leads me to the first thing you are not allowed to do. You are not allowed to...
Be a human Black Hole
Black holes are large holes in outer space. They are so big and have such powerful suction abilities that nothing (not even light) can escape being sucked into them. You are a black hole when you pretend to be ready for something that you know that you aren't This is where the "be silent" part comes in. If you are not ready to show up fully for what you are asking for…be silent. For example, stop telling everybody how much you want a partner when you know you have trust issues that you have not taken the time to work out. Stop lying to people pretending that you are ready to be there for them when you still have feelings for a past love. Stop using your insecurity and past relationships as a crutch for your unwillingness to change. It doesn't do anybody any good to get bogged down (or sucked into) your drama.
You are also not allowed to...
Give Up Before you Start
Stop creating reasons and ways to fail before you even get your foot out of the door. It seems to me like some people spend so much time thinking of ways to fail that they have forgotten how to succeed. I say this all the time, but there is no prize in being a martyr. Stop thinking that you can’t because you never have. Many of us have never been the person we want to be but something is us tells us that this “greater” us exists. It does. So go get it. If you try and you fail, that’s fine. But at least gave yourself a shot.
Everything doesn't need to be said. Some things can be just be done! Now that you know the rules, you can be about the life #silenceBEseen
I've always felt that showing someone who and what you are, and what you're capable of is far more impacting than standing & talking about it. It's a lot like that post I put up about apologies. The behavior one displays never changes just because they apologized. It takes the action to correct it. All of this applies to self just as much as others. You can apologize to yourself every other day for not living up to what you expected you be OR you can make daily steps toward becoming who you know you can be. While there is some responsibility that comes w/ telling others what we plan to do, what we want, where we want to be...there's an even bigger responsibility to ourselves to be sure we're being honest with OURSELVES. Don't look for people to hold you accountable. Hold yourself accountable. Be Silent & Be Seen doing what you need to do to be fully seen as a work in progress. Good Read Good Word Ms Jackson :)
Thank you Dani, I was a little worried that this post would come off preachy (which I didn't want) but this is truly how I am trying to live my life. I love to talk and sometimes I have major issues with validation so I used to want to talk all the time...just so people could validate me, but now I am working to validate myself and that requires silence. And you're right, being honest with yourself is the most important thing...along with making those daily steps. Thanks for reading!ReplyDelete