A sober mind is a healthy mind

The past few weeks I have been in a terrible rut. At first I didn’t want to admit it but the moment I stepped on the scale and saw 175 in front of my little brown toes, I couldn’t ignore it anymore. Something was wrong. The truth was lately, if I wasn’t at work all I wanted to do was sleep or watch TV. The thing is/ was, I couldn’t put my finger on what exactly it was that was bothering me. And honestly, I can’t say that much has changed in that respect. What I do know however is that I have been here before; in that limbo space on the verge of destruction. Not quite over the edge but flirting with disaster. It usually starts with the food, then comes the alcohol, then the constant partying…and then who even wants to think about what comes next. I guess deep down I know that some of my destructive behavior is due to my anxiety about my upcoming deadline with Hay House. I have never wanted something so bad and to think that it’s starring me in my face is petrifying. But as I said before, I am not afraid of fear and I am not going to let myself screw this up. Soo, I am nipping all the bs in the bud today. Last year, while meditating in my Buddhist meditation class I had what some would call 'inspired thought.' In a voice clear as day, I heard something say “A sober mind is a healthy mind.” The words haunted me.

At the time, I was still huffing and the concept of being sober was almost surreal. I wasn’t sure that I could do it.  So, I started off with an experiment. In the 30 days preceding my birthday, I stopped drinking and going out. I should mention that I did not want to do this. I put it off for months until I couldn’t anymore. The result was powerful. I felt a renewed focus and a renewed confidence in what I could do for me. Confidence is important when you are working toward a goal as serious as the one I am, so (deep breath) I know what I have to do.  Now at first glance this may seem simple but not for me. I mean, I work in a bar for Pete’s sake. A bar full of rude, disrespectful, cheap you know what’s. I usually have a drink everyday just to keep my temper under control. What I’m noticing though is that with all this pacifying myself I’m not doing the work I need to do. And that has to stop. I need some discipline and some focus. So I’m putting myself on a cleanse. No drinking and no going out for the next 30 days. I usually fast once a year so within these 30 days, I am sure there is fast in the forecast as well.  You know, this whole healthy lifestyle thing is a process complete with its own set of ups and downs. We have to be diligent and proactive. When we see something wrong, we have to address it or risk it getting too big to manage. For me, the fear of blowing a chance of a lifetime or relapsing is unconscionable, so I gotta do what I gotta do (even if that means secluding myself for a while).

To prepare myself for battle (and yes this will be battle, being that Black Pride Atlanta falls within the next 30 days), I did a few things.

1.       Clean House/Wash Clothes: When you are trying to reset yourself it’s important that you do so in a space conducive to creation. So you need a mental, physical, and spiritual clean slate. I also washed my hair, shaved my legs, got my eyebrows done and all that. Nothing like a sexy, smooth clean body to match my new clean surroundings.

2.       Create a plan: A month may not seem like a long time but when you are planning to deviate from your regularly scheduled program, you have to have a plan. Otherwise it’s easy to fall back into bad habits. I have 4 picked virtues(one for each week) to govern my mind and activities while I am cleansing.  I also have set little goals for myself to motivate me on the way. For example, I am planning to perfect a section of my book proposal each week in hopes of having it ready for editing for September 1rst.

3.       Spiritual Focus: As a writer and a person of faith, words of affirmation are a major part of my life so I wrote a little prayer for myself to recite twice daily. The words are meant to remind me why I am doing what I’m doing in those moments I get discouraged.

Of course, I am also planning to fit eating right and working out into my regimen. But I am not going to stress myself or push myself to hard. This is about cleansing and redirecting not punishing. This is my process. Welcome to it! lol Anyhoo, I hope you enjoy. I’ll be posting videos and some blogs about my feelings along the way. Wish me luck.

Oh and I have included my Healthy Mind prayer below. It’s like my own personal little mission statement.  Maybe you can rearrange the words for your life. As for me, I’m off to drink some orange juice lol!

A healthy mind

A healthy mind is a sober mind

A sober mind is a mind does not take alcohol in excess and is free of huffing

A healthy mind is a mind that seeks to create and not destroy

I have a sober mind

A healthy mind yields healthy thoughts

Healthy thoughts are free from addiction

Healthy thoughts lift me up and make me feel good about myself

I have healthy thoughts

A healthy mind has healthy conversations

Healthy conversations do not revolve around negativity

I have healthy conversations

A healthy mind yields healthy habits

Healthy habits include getting a good’s nights rest and spending my time on constructive and productive activities

I have healthy habits
A healthy mind needs a healthy diet

A healthy diet includes leafy greens, fresh vegetables and lean protein

A healthy diet also includes ample water and other natural beverages

I have a healthy diet

A healthy mind needs healthy relationships

Healthy relationships enrich my life with mutual laughter, love, appreciation, humor, affection, inspiration and responsibility.

Healthy romantic relationships include a healthy sex life. Where I am free to express myself sexually without restraint or shame.

I have healthy relationships

A healthy mind is a happy mind

A happy minds expects good to manifest from all situations

A happy mind lives and experiences the world through abundance

An abundance of love, peace, finances, inspiration and activity

A happy mind is necessary for a happy self

I have a sober mind, with healthy thoughts, healthy conversations, healthy habits, a healthy diet, and healthy relationships.

I am healthy and happy.